I am hereby officially announcing my availability to any and all teams in Chicago for the 2016 Ad League softball season. I'm a versatile player, quick and nimble enough to fill any position on the field. Center field. Shortstop. Nothing with Powerpoint or Keynote, though, those suck. I played baseball competitively for nearly half my life and can be an impact contributor to your organization right away, either off-the-bench or as a full-time player. So act fast and contact me today -- I don't plan on being a free agent for too long.

To coincide with my announcement, I've designed softball jerseys for some of the best agencies in the game. I don't care whether your team is big or small, bottom dwellers or a historic franchise -- I just want to swing for the fences each and every week. These babies are ready to print, so if you like your look then sign me up and we'll get 'em on the field.

Let's play ball, Chicago.