Hire me. Then fire me.

I’m a freelance creative director, this is my life.

It’s a totally normal thing for me to get hired at an ad agency, work there for a couple weeks or more, and then get let go. And you know what’s wild? Often times, the very same agency that gave me the ol’ pink slip will hire me right back –– only to fire my ass again!

In fact, I’ve been canned from some of the best agencies in the country. FCB has sent me packing on three separate occasions. DDB has dismissed me several times. I think the guys at O’Keefe Reinhard & Paul –– AdAge’s Small Agency of the Year in 2015, Agency to Watch in 2018, A-List in 2019 –– got some sort of twisted pleasure out of giving me the proverbial axe, because they fired the holy hell outta me time and time again as they grew across three different office locations between the years of 2013 and 2017.

Agencies just seem to love hiring me, getting great work out of me, kicking me to the curb, bringing me back in, shitcanning me, and so on and so forth. Sometimes there are so many places that want to give me the boot, I’ve gotta schedule them all in a row so they each get a turn to lay me the fuck off like it’s some sorta frat house paddling ritual.

Wanna feel what it’s like to fire my freelancin’ ass, too? Of course you do, you trigger happy nutbar. Hell, if you’re anything like the other 20+ agencies I’ve worked at in my decade-long career so far, I bet you’re just dyin’ to sack me like a bag of Yukon Golds. So let’s get on with it…